Insanity Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
One of the worst feelings is the feeling of helplessness. To me it’s unbearable. I have this uncontrollable desire to help others and do as much as I can to change a situation. The ability to try controlling an outcome is something I strive for. So of course when this ability is taken from me, I feel miserable. I hate when people I love are in pain. Their pain is my mine. People don’t always understand. It has to be something some people are just born with. I wish I could ignore it…move on with my life like so many others do. Just walk away. If only it were that easy.
My mind doesn’t have the convenience of an off switch. It constantly reminds me of the misery. Seeing tears rips holes into my heart. Sometimes frowns are even worse. The concealment of the agony. Pretending like things are fine when your body just won’t let you fake it.
In life we are put through these tests of mental strength. Some are stronger than others.
Accepting that you can’t fix the wrong is the hardest part for me. Watching someone break down and knowing it has to happen. Knowing that only time can heal. Time is just so unforgiving. If there was anything I could wish for it would be more time. As we age time seems to be the resource that drains the fastest. Racing towards death.